Whoever thought being a Christ follower would be so challenging, rewarding, full of grace, lonely feeling(at times), mountain top experiences, and any other emotion out there? Well, I have experienced many of these emotions over the past 6 days. I know I have written about how much I miss Jason in previous posts but this is not another one of those even thought my feelings have not changed! I want to share what God has been teaching me during this period of time. This has taken me a few days to write because of everything that I am processing.
Yes I am sad. Yes I feel lonely but thank the Lord for family and friends. God has been taking me on a faith journey the past month or so and I believe that through my obedience and constant seeking, he is revealing himself to me in may ways. But this week especially, he has been showing and answering some questions that I have had over the past few months. I have been trying to figure out what my role is supposed to be in ministry as a new mom along with being a youth pastor's wife and all that these titles/jobs entail. This week I have been reminded that my role as the youth pastor's wife is to pray fervently, encourage, and come along side and be the teammate that God has called me to be. I truly miss this part of our ministry together. I have had many emotions over the past 7 days. It is kind of like something was taken away and I have been going through the grieving processes. Sadness, denial of my feelings, anger, and so on. Sounds weird I know, but that is the only thing that I could compare it to. But in all of this, God has truly revealed himself to me. I am realizing how I can be a mom, and a wife and still have time to be a partner in ministry. Pretty cool!
Even though this has been extremely hard for over the past week, I know that it is only making me stronger and more confident in who I am in Christ. It is a true faith journey! I guess this was all in God's plan. In the moment God's plans sometimes stink but when you are completely surrendered, God's plans are victorious.
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