For about the past 4 weeks, my church has been doing a series titled, Love Wins, a series on how we as a church can plug in to the body and use our gifts, talents, and passions for Christ. Now mind you, I have been attending NMC for almost 11 years now, and I can't remember a series that has hit close to home as much as this one has. I have been wrestling through some issues that have been brought to my attention through this series. I will share more in another post but right now I am trying to figure out where I fit in the body of Christ.
Since I graduated high school way back in 1997(yes, my 10 year reunion is this year) I have been heavily involved in student ministries. I have been a small group leader, youth class teacher, and been a leader on several of our trips. I have loved every single bit of it and have gained many lasting relationships through these times. I love to talk with teenage girls and listen to what they are going through and in the process try my best to be a good listener and advisor. There have been times that have bombed and times that have been great. I have learned through both circumstances. So you might say, "sounds like you have found your fit in the church." You're right to an extent. Am I ready for something else?
This past year I kind of removed myself from being a small group leader because I was having a baby. I knew that with that life change, my focus and attention would not be on my small group. I didn't think that would be fair to the girls. So, I said that I would be a small group leader to small group leaders, college girls. Well, I can honestly say that I didn't do a very good job at that. It was harder than I thought and I didn't put much effort into it. Sorry girls!
So now, the school year has ended and summer is here. It is time to start thinking about next year. Will I be involved in junior high, high, school, or something else? I don't know, that is where my questioning comes in. What's my role? I want to and love doing ministry with Jason. I think that we make a good team! Being removed for a year has been great so that I could be a mom and just sit on the sidelines. I am reminded that sitting on the sidelines is not what God intended us to do. We are to be involved somewhere, somehow in the body.
So, that's where I'm at. Searching for my place! I have many questions. I pray that Jesus will show me a clear path. I know he will, just when and what is the question!
2 comments:
Its funny how when no one knows you, you can be anything you want to be, or anything anyone wants you to be. As I read your blog I think back to the days of the tippy tape, and the omni, sneaking around with bikini's and semi formal dances. A lot of fun times we had. Then I remember like it was yesterday when Rachael Cunningham was all of the sudden no longer, and frankly I was a bit ticked off. It was as if you had dropped off the face of the planet, and you didn't even tell us goodbye. Now that I look back in my somewhat wiser days I see that you were always a "Christian" there was never anything you did that was horribly wrong, but once we found out we did what was expected we condemned you for not wanting to "have fun" anymore. We didn't call you either, nor did we want to explore your new world as real friends should have. In reference to this, and your quest to find your place again I challenge you to think about seeking God in a new place as if no one knows you. You are again a different person. You are now a Mom. I've found this gives you a whole different outlook on life. And while God intended you to raise Haley in a Christ following and loving home you can also do other wonderful things with your new found perspective. I hope this gives you something to think about at least, and I hope God gives you the answers you are seeking clearly.
Welcome to the blog world! As I was reading your post, I remembered the exact time I asked those same questions. Motherhood changes things for us. God has brought you into a new season of your life. Your experiences of the past in ministry, as well as your wife and mother roles, are preparing you for the next step. As I look over my last 9 years of being a mom, I can start seeing the pieces fit together, how God changed some of my passions and increased other passions. Keep us posted on where God is directing you. Whatever it is, wherever you fit, it will be exciting!
Post a Comment